Kindness Matters

Sometimes I think the universe has a way of trying to make you get your shit together.

I recently reconnected with a friend from high school. We literally have not spoken to each other in three years. Seriously, where has the time gone? We talked all night about how it’s weird that Chicago brought us back together, it has to be for a certain reason right?

We ended up trying to cook food and it reminded me of the time, this same friend, tried to cook popcorn and almost burnt my entire house down. The popcorn was literally black ashes.

The wine was flowing and her dog was farting. How did two small town girls make it to the big city?

We made it because we worked for it. We didn’t come from money. We came from hardworking people. And these hardworking people put these goals and values in our head that started at a very young age.

With that being said…I feel like I have something to say…something to give back to the world.

As a little girl, my mom would always tell me to be nice to everybody because you never know what they are going through. This is something I have carried with me into adulthood. I would not be the person I am today without her. My mom had me when she was sixteen and she has been the only person who has secretly held my hand through every day. She has been there, since the day I took my first breath. She gave me my wings. It’s just like Dolly Parton says, “She’s a sparrow when she’s broken, but she’s an eagle when she flies.” So, mom this is me screaming to the world “I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!”

You’re hot.

I may cuss a lot or say perverted things, once in a while, or once every day, but I truly believe in God. I don’t go to church every Sunday, but I pray. So, judge me. I am who I am.

This brings me to my next thought:

This coming December it will be ten years that a dear friend, classmate, inspiration will be in heaven. And this quote will always remind me of him.

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget the way you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

So, to the teenagers out there bullying their classmates you need to stop and start caring about each other. Because you guys are the future and you never know what will happen. The kid that sits next to you in English, you know the one you pick on because he’s smart. He could be killed in an accident. Then how would you feel. Spread kindness, it matters. Treat others with respect. Open doors for people, because it literally could make their day.

I started this blog to help with my writing and to help me get better at writing comedy, but I also want it to inspire other people. If people actually follow it.

God Bless the people that decide to follow it and the people who actually decide to read my inner thoughts.

Walk with me on this journey.

“Can I get a what what ladies!” Remember to kick ass every day.

I thought I would share this video I created for a class in college.

It’s kind of embarrassing, but here it is.





The jokes on me

April 1, 2016

Picture it:

We are at the lakes. I’m not really sure who is all there, but I know
that at least a few of the people are Amy Schumer and my mom. Amy convinces me to rent jet ski’s so I do it. Then we are racing on these jet ski’s and I’m flying on this jet ski because I want to fucking win. I look back and Amy is hysterically laughing because now I realize that I’m being chased by a shark. I flip my jet ski on a log and start sinking to the bottom. Then Amy flies by and pulls me up on her jet ski. By the way, in my dream she must be really strong because I don’t think anyone could pull me up on a jet ski, and
then we both start hysterically laughing and talk about how we really want hot dogs.

Alarm goes off (Which the tone is the theme song to the
Ellen DeGeneres show). Girl hits snooze, twice, then finally gets up
to rush around to get ready for work. She storms out of the apartment
(The Beyonce Credits Video beat starts playing, because for some
reason it’s the first song that always plays) and it’s raining, then
the girl literally trips on the sidewalk trying to catch the bus.

Most days I feel as though God is constantly laughing at me. Majority
of the time I’m the girl who is consistently tripping and falling flat
on my face.

For example: Yesterday, I had a piece of toilet paper stuck in my
pants that a co-worker had to inform me about.

I’m currently, still living from paycheck to paycheck. I find it
ironically weird that in college I had more money. I could afford
alcohol and vacations. Now, I’m just trying to pay that shit off. So,
my social life consists of me, a piece of baked chicken with lemon
juice, a side of ramen noodles, and Netflix. I’m still waiting for
that college degree to pay off. I worked so hard for that damn degree,
working full-time at Lowe’s.

On top of that, I’ve gained so much weight I look like I’ve already
had three children.

Cheers to being an adult. I love it. It’s great.

I was really fooled yesterday when I woke up truly believing I was
still 17. I’m 24, single, and broke.

I wonder if I’ll ever have my shit together.

Shall we reminiscence on the first time I moved to Chicago? A bird
shit on my head on my way to work, so I was left washing my hair at
work with the hand soap in the bathroom.

So, here I am. A grad school dropout and barely employed. My friends
convinced me to start writing a blog, since my dream career is to
write comedy for Comedy Central or SNL or something like that.