So, tell me what to do now…


And your host of the night, Joey Fatone.


Just when you think the 90s are over…it creeps back up on you. Like Nick@Nite or Double Dare…or Joey Fatone.


I was established in 1991. I grew up feeding my geo pet, listening to my hit clips, reeking of the blueberry roll-on Art Stuff body glitter. And pretending to be a Spice Girl, I was always Scary Spice.


I don’t know if I should be ecstatic to have met Joey Fatone in my mid-twenties, where I proceeded to tell him he lived on my bedroom wall, until I was about 18. His response: “I am so sorry.” I can remember the exact poster and how excited I was when my grandma got it for me. Now, I’m starting to feel old, especially since 98 Degrees and the Backstreet Boys are making comeback tours.


And let me remind you that I was only going to stay at this party for a couple of hours, since my body requires 42 hours of sleep. And hibernating season is among us.


Fast forward 12 am…butterfly clips all over my head, side pony, scrunchies, and glow in the dark bracelets. And lets not forget the chokers.


My inner 9 year-old girl had come out and she was tearing up the dance floor because “I don’t wanna be a fool in this game for two.”



My entire life I have always envisioned that my first serious break up I would sing one of these songs to him. Like “The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do” is “be a fool in this game for two” you always said, “I’ll never break your heart, I’ll never make you cry.” But here we are and you keep saying you’re going to “Quit playing games with my heart.” And I’m just like I thought I was “Born to make you happy,” so now I’m still dealing with this “From the bottom of my broken heart,” but in reality, “You drive me crazy.”


That never happened, because I’m a single independent woman. Momma didn’t raise no fool. However, I did make my friend Ben rub my back. Genius.


And then we danced the night away with our bellies full of Good Burger. Just “Pissing the night away.” “He drinks a whiskey drink, he drinks a vodka drink, he drinks a larger drink, he drinks a cider drink,” I mean it is October, preferably with some Fireball in it.


Let me tell you, Nickelodeon knows how to throw a party. What a night. The slime. So let me leave you with the reminder of the teen BOP magazine and the broken butterfly clips I keep finding in my hair.


The 90s, an era that will last forever. Glad I got to participate. “If I could turn back time.”


Isn’t kind of scary that us 90s kids are like actually real adults now? Well, I’m trying to be.