Pretty Hurts

As I was sitting on the Megabus, getting crop dusted by fellow passengers, I was literally on the verge of passing out. I seriously think someone soiled themselves. I thought of a major topic that has been categorizing women for years, the term “plus size.”

Plus size, why do we even have that term in our vocabulary ?

Why can’t we just be known as strong, successful, and empowering women? Why is society obsessing over body image and not focusing on the person inside of the body?

We’ve all had those moments where we look at a picture from high school and think, “Damn, I thought I was fat then.”

And believe me, no man has ever looked at me the way I look at a cheeseburger, but when the time comes, picture it: eyes connecting, mouths full of meat, I will know I have found my own soup snake. Until then, I will just enjoy the beef.

I like to blame obesity for all my problems.
“Oh I can’t pay my bills, it must be my obesity.”

“My car has a flat tire, must be my obesity.”

“My shoes have holes in them, must be my obesity.”


I remember being in the seventh grade, I was a size 8. I had my first real boyfriend. I was so excited. Then I overheard one of his friends in Geography class call me a fat ass.

WHAT the Fuck? As you could imagine the bull horns started peaking through my skull. My nostrils were flaring, but me being me, instead of sticking up for myself I just broke up with him. Ahhh, the joys of young love.

I’ve always struggled with my weight. I’ve even had some certain people in my life comment on my “plus size” weight gain. You know what I have to say to them? Kiss my voluptuous ass. I’m not sorry I can only afford ramen at the moment.

I would like to say that I come from a family of “plus size” women, so I guess my family breeds us hefty.


I’m not sorry that I love food. I hate when people tell you to watch what you eat. Really? I do watch what I eat. I watch it go right into my mouth.

Things bootylicious girls get in trouble for:

Mooning, I can’t stop myself when the opportunity arises. The freeing feeling of my bare ass in the air like a baboon as I cackle is something I will not pass up. It can be tricky, not knowing there are fifth grade boys in the van when my mom pulls into the garage…whoops!

Have you seen the recent headlines lately? They are all about body image and being plus size. Body shaming people. Body shamers don’t ever look in the damn mirror. Maybe they are afraid of what they might see staring back at them.

If they are calling Amy Schumer plus size, then are the rest of us abnormally obese? Thank God, we have people like her for young girls to look up to.

I’m not sorry I like to eat McDonalds. I don’t understand why that food makes you gain weight anyways, because it usually ends in a McShit.

If I ever have offspring and that child is a girl, she will never question her body. I will tell her everyday she is beautiful. I will be her advocate. I will hearten her creative mind and protect her confidence.

Jennifer Lawrence said in a recent article,”I think we’ve gotten so used to underweight that when you’re a normal weight, it’s like Oh My God, she’s curvy. Which is crazy!”

She couldn’t have said it better. We are the mentors for young girls. Let’s change the way we think.

Help me share this message! We are all beautiful people.

I love myself. I respect myself. As Queen Bey would say, flaws and all.

Join the Kind Campaign. #kindnessmatters


Now, mama needs to eat!



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